10:00pm, 6 May 2010. The exit poll has just been announced and only one person is happy: Gordon Brown. He has realised that he has got away with calling a Labour voter a "bigot" and has 255 MPs (according to the exit poll), and David Cameron will not be Prime Minister with "just" 307. One easy phone call to Nick Clegg and Gordon Brown is back in 10 Downing Street, biting his nails, doing a U-Turn in defence spending in 7 days, taking part in "Who can have the largest deficit?" with Greece (and winning). Easy. Oh, hold on, 255 + 59 doesn't make 326! Problems. Oh well, Gordon's still going to try. Failed negotiations Oh dear. In comes Dave, the knight in shining armour, to pick up where Gordon left off, and reaches an agreement (against all the odds) and provides stable leadership for the country.
George Osborne now has loads more figures to have a look at - and resigns in "Who can have the largest deficit?" - immediately gets to work on the deficit - and in two years has cut it from 11% of GDP to 6% of GDP. In the emergency budget of June 2010, he states that debt will peak in 2013 at 70% of GDP. No one has recognised this fact - the debt will go down in the long-term. To provide long-term economic sustainability for this country was the target of this government, and to say that we will be (finally) out of recession by 2014 is a bold statement, but easily feasible. After each recession, the economy enjoys a bounce-back - we should be out of recession by December 2014, barring any revisions (and they look likely to be revised up - June 2014 is a real possibility). George Osborne is the biggest harvester of undeserved credit. After all, all his targets are on course so far.
The election of Ed Miliband caused a shift in the polls as the left-wing voters now realised that they had someone to vote for. Gordon's overspending looked to have been back on target. Yet, once again, Cameron saved the day. As "Red Ed" announces that he would have signed a Eurozone treaty, Cameron vetoes it, acting in Great Britain's national interest, and, once again, that's what the country wants to see. Cameron showed us that we can be a part of the EU whilst not being tagged along like Gordon Brown. We don't need parties like UKIP when we have a veto. This is what we did. For Britain. For Great Britain. Not for Europe, for us.
William Hague, 2008, dubbed as "Gordon's EU Nightmare":
On to 2012, the year of the Olympics. It starts with David Cameron showing that he can lead this country properly by announcing that Chris Huhne will be prosecuted. What he did was morally wrong - a bit like tax evasion. That makes no difference to the polls - but we were already ahead. The budget was the next thing to cover. Labour swoop on a tax cut, showing us that it's back to "Old Labour" - tax, tax and more tax. Labour accuse us of writing cheques to the millionaires. Do they know how tax works?
David Cameron, 2012:
We gave a tax cut in the top rate of tax, as well as a tax cut to millions of people in the country. Labour don't look at the figures, and clearly, Ed Balls and Ed Miliband did not do GCSE/O-Level Maths. Either that or they got Us.
That's what a vote for the Conservatives in 2015 will ensure. More of Great Britain. Less of just Britain.