Here, as it happened, are the tweets as I react in a harsher manner than Bob Willis and Geoffrey Boycott combined to a weak and feeble England performance on the second day of the second test match between India and England at the Dr Yeduguri Sandinti Rajasekhara Reddy Andhra Cricket Association Visakhapatnam District Cricket Association Cricket Stadium (and I'm not making that up).
All times GMT. Don't ask why I wasn't asleep.
Here are the edited highlights:
04:20: "I get the sense the Ashes in 2017 will be a low-scoring affair. Neither side looks like winning it, if you get my meaning."
04:28: [the umpires change the ball which is only about 10 overs old] "Just do what they did earlier this year at the Oval - pick a brand new one then thump it in the ground twice!!"
04:42: "Terrible fielding from Buttler. Absolutely village. I would have stopped that one, and I'm really not a great fielder."
04:48: [Stokes drops Ashwin then catches Kohli next ball] "OH GIVE ME STRENGTH. Two fielding cock-ups from Stokes today. Third time lucky, though!"
05:08: [Kumar Dharmasena takes approximately forever to give an LBW] "Dharmasena reviving the ghost of Steve Bucknor!"
05:14: "Maiden for an English spin bowler!!! Stop the press!"
05:44: "England spinners in this series: 190.3-20-645-16. Avg 40.31, Econ 3.39, Strike Rate an appalling 71.44..."
07:00: "Bairstow was so surprised by that he forgot to appeal."
07:27: "Would really like to see some consistency from the media on how to list Moeen Ali's name. "Moeen", "Ali", and "Moeen Ali" all used... For the record, I use "Ali"."
07:39: "I have a feeling we're going to get one of those Alastair Cook specials where he faces about a million balls." [watch this space]
07:47: [Cook bowled - off stump broken in two] "Stumps all over the place. In more ways than one."
08:22: "I know he's from Lancs, but with 5 from 29 Hameed is probably doing @GeoffreyBoycott proud..."
09:18: [Hameed is run out] "Another bloody omnishambles. Quote unquote Clarkson... WHOSE FAULT WAS THAT?" [...] "Joe you idiot. You have to go on and make a big hundred now."
09:36: "I really don't want to be batting on that pitch..."
09:38: "I have the same technical issue as Duckett. The difference is I don't claim to be a test batsman."
09:50: "Only three things are certain in life: death, taxes, and England being less than 100-3."
09:59: "Someone send for Ian Bell and Jason Roy please."
10:01: RT @TheAnalyst: "Hmmm. England are in the sh1t 'ere..."
10:18: RT @bbctms: ""England either bat beautifully or collapse - it's always one or the other, there's no in between" @GeoffreyBoycott"
10:19: "Completely agree with Boycott. England either bat beautifully or terribly. When was the last time England put in a par performance?"
10:55: "Yay, Stokes reaches double figures!"