£166bn down the drain? No thanks, Ed...

Ed Balls has been trying to claim that Labour ‘will not duck the hard choices ahead’. They said they were serious about the economy. But now we know that isn't true.

Analysis by the independent Institute for Fiscal Studies has shown that his plans would allow Labour to borrow and spend billions more.

Official Treasury numbers have shown the full impact of Labour’s plans: a borrowing bombshell adding an additional £166bn to the country's debt in just one parliament, despite what Miliband and Balls will tell you.

Labour’s plan to borrow and spend more is the single biggest risk to our economic recovery. And it’s hardworking people who would pay the price, with higher taxes funding this latest Labour spending spree.

The choice at the next election is now clear: the Conservatives with our long-term economic plan that is building a stronger, more competitive economy, and securing a better future for Britain; the Same Old Labour Party, with no plan, no direction, and no ideas other than more spending, more borrowing and more taxes.

Are you sure you can trust Ed Balls with the economy? After all, Alistair Darling is better than him and look how that ended up. 

A Real Nightmare

If you haven't guessed by now, I am a student. Sadly, I can't change the time settings on this blog: I have no idea what the time is in PST - or whatever the time setting is. But nonetheless, it is my half term break. I use the phrase 'break' very loosely: this has been a break from hell. Ultimately, one can surely understand if I'm having a nightmare. But not one like this.

Well, this half term has been dreadful. As well as the now customary mountain of homework given to me, my father decided that now is the time to redecorate my room. Part of me is glad: I used to have a horrible greeny-yellow wallpaper. But that's OK: the paint just has to be finished now. A colour that Homebase call 'azure' (whatever that is), with 'silk emulsion'. I still have no idea. But that is fine - but this week has been dreadful for the following reasons.

On the evening of Monday 17 February, Microsoft released an update for Windows. The update must have a bug in it, for it broke ALL the computers I have.

Despite technological experts, one is in a state of disrepair. The other one is password-protected due to a fault (we didn't set it to be password-protected but the update has forced it to be so) - and we don't know the password.

Consequently, I'm currently speaking to you from a crummy 7'' tablet my mother owns, whilst listening to 'Diva' by Dana International and watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? on a television channel called Challenge - which is the best thing since sliced bread (it broadcasts game shows!). I haven't got a clue in which US state Saint Augustine is, so I, like this contestant, would gladly take one hundred and twenty five thousand pounds! 

Anyway, I didn't come here to go on and on about US states and female authors and whether the correct term for someone against increasing the powers of the EU is a eurosceptic, a eurostar, a eurotrash, or a eurovision. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And squeezing this between the mountain of homework given to me...

Anyway, this strange dream I had... where to begin?

As my room is being redecorated, I'm sleeping with my brother (and all of you disgusting perverts can get that thought of your heads NOW), and I have a dream about the next general election.

David Dimbleby introduces the election night, with very badly airbrushed pictures of Ed Miliband, David Cameron, Nick Clegg, and Nigel Farage standing side by side by side by side. Then he introduces Jeremy Vine swinging his swingometer. (I've just thought about using a pun on 'Vine' and 'swinging', but I'm not clever enough to think of one.) Then Andrew Neil and Andrew Marr get shoehorned in, Peter Kellener is added as an afterthought, the Formula One commentator Ben Edwards is also there. I don't know why, the BBC tend to do use gimmicks on election nights: in 2005, they had people spray-painting a map of the UK in the colours won by each constituency. Attempting not to go over the lines on Sunderland South and other extremely urban constituencies was a bit of a disaster. In 2010, they had Andrew Neil interviewing, of all people, Piers Morgan and Bruce Forsyth on a boat next to the London Eye,the latter seeming not to give two hoots about the election. So I have no idea what Ben Edwards is doing there. And then David Dimbleby introduces Emily Maitlis and Nick Robinson, attempting to hide the frustration of a night with Nick Robinson, which would drive anyone mad!

Anyhow, in my version of reality, I am sitting on my sofa with 15 cans of Red Bull and 29 cups of coffee ready to drink in emergency, bearing in mind I hate both of them. Dimbers gives us an exit poll at 22:00 which appears to have gone slightly wrong as it shows UKIP on 631 (+631), Labour on 0 (-258), the Conservatives on 0 (-306), the Liberal Democrats on 0 (-57), and the others on 19 (-10). Nick Robinson dismisses it as rubbish, Jeremy Vine runs out of swing, and Peter Kellener is stunned into silence.

Right then - according to Mr Dimbleby - Houghton and Sunderland South should be first to declare. As always, the swing here will be important, just as it will in the 631 constituencies where the main parties are standing (650 - Speaker's seat - Northern Ireland = 631). 

At 22:41, Houghton and Sunderland South declares with a 7% swing to Labour. UKIP are nowhere. "Well," says Nick Robinson, "What an interesting result. Let's wait and see."

Sunderland Central declares. 7% swing to Labour. UKIP nowhere. This pattern continues for the North East. Result after result goes to Labour. UKIP make gains in the Conservative heartlands. The Liberal Democrats are able to concentrate their votes and monopolise Cornwall and Devon. Making facial gestures at home very similar to those made by defeated Conservative candidates in 1997, I begin to look up one-way plane tickets to Sweden.

It's now, on election night, 4am - and the one result I was desperate to see is coming through. Harrow West. After 17 recounts, this seat finally declares - and Gareth Thomas is ousted after 18 years. Hannah David, a very nice woman comes in. Hannah David wins by just two votes from Gaeth Thomas for the Conservatives. UKIP take third.

But I watch Ed Miliband stumble over his words in Downing Street, with the Ed Balls clown back there - and reading in the papers that he attempted to steal from Buckingham Palace, Ed Miliband walks in to Downing Street - and I wake up. My brother's just switched the lights on. He does this sort of thing. I promptly turn out the lights again. (The political know-alls who read this blog can probably see where this is going.)

Fortunately, you can stop it. By voting for David Cameron at the next general election, you can stop Ed Miliband from winning. A vote for UKIP is a vote for Labour. A vote for the Liberal Democrats is a vote for Labour. But if Miliband wins, I WILL be getting on that plane to Sweden - and will the last person to leave please turnout the lights?

Labour's (new!) tax bombshell

I had a quick trawl through the Labour Party website, and I could only find the one policy on it, on Ed Miliband's one-off energy price freeze. However, what policies there are on the Labour side, it's obvious as to why they don't want to mention them. Labour have pledged to spend the same pot of money, coming from a bank levy, 13 times over: youth jobs guarantee; lowering VAT; reversing child benefit changes; reversing ALL of Iain Duncan Smith's benefit reforms; more regional growth funding; turning empty shops into community centres; more housing; childcare; cutting the deficit; more spending; more spending on public services.

But hold on, it's not possible to spend more and cut the deficit. It's also not possible to spend the same pot of money 13 times over. So Labour would have to increase taxes. But even if you taxed the rich at 98% (as Labour once did), there aren't enough rich people to pay for it all. So Labour would have to come up with something that hit everybody. The result? Well, look below:

That's £1,250 more tax per year for the typical worker under Ed 'n' Ed - £6,250 more tax over the next five years. Yes, I know I'm recycling old Conservative Party adverts, but it is same old Labour. So where would you save £1,250?

Well, don't worry, Labour would give you a choice:

1. Save £25 per week on weekly shopping. This means giving up chocolate, for starters.
2. Give up the family holiday. This may not prove too popular.
3. Sell your car - that could save you £6,250. But how would you do Britain-wide journeys?
4. Keep your car but take up minicabbing, giving up your evening.
5. Strike - probably explaining why they go up under Labour - but it wouldn't work.
6. Labour more for Labour. Work overtime.

The world recession has made it difficult for all of us, but with taxes down, strikes down, and inflation down, Britain is poised to gain most when the economy REALLY gets going. The last thing we need now is more taxes from Labour.

I was about to finish this blog post at that, and then I re-read it. And I noticed Labour have pledged to turn shops into community centres. Yes, they really are so anti-business they would let that happen. Another £5m down the drain.

What else have Labour pledged? They've pledged to renationalise energy. And EVERYONE knows this doesn't work. Between 1945 and 1987, the British taxpayer wasted £40bn to rescue failed nationalised industries - and that's not including Northern Rock, RBS, and Lloyds. There's only been one case where nationalisation has worked, and that is the NHS. "Oh", say Labour, "but prices are rising! It's the cost of living crisis, it's the end of the world!"

That argument doesn't stack up:

1. Labour's figure of £1,600 does not include tax cuts by this government.
2. We are exactly on the IMF inflation target of 2.0%.
3. One should introduce more competition into markets, not less.

This election will be a two-party election, and, owing to the nature of the British electoral system, a vote for anyone other than the Conservatives will be a vote for Labour. David Cameron isn't the most popular Prime Ministers ever - it will be the least worst candidate who is returned to Downing Street - David Cameron is far better than Ed Miliband.